Full Introduction for the Book How to Adult by Grace Mehm

The following blog post is the full introduction to the book How to Adult by Grace Mehm. It has been transcribed here for your convenience so you can read some of the book for free and decide whether it feels like the right fit for you.

Hi girlfriend,

I'm so glad you're here because that means you took the first step toward transforming your life, admitting there's room for improvement. I’m super excited for you to begin your journey from being a hot mess gal to a refined woman.

I say “refined” because even after these thirty days, you might still feel like a hot mess.

Honestly, that’s expected. You know why? Because being a little bit of a mess is normal.

Whether people want to admit it or not, no one has lived today yet. Everyone is just winging it! We're all a little bit of a hot mess in one way or another, though I believe that some people are more prone to it and must work harder than others to not be. Thankfully, we have schedules, systems, and the tiny robot in our pocket to help us out. And now, you have something extra, a secret weapon that will help you take on the adulting world by storm—this guide!

Before we continue, let’s briefly define the terms “hot mess” and “adulting” so we’re on the same page. Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries (Oxford University Press) defines “adulting” as “the practice of behaving in the manner of a responsible adult, especially in completing everyday tasks.”¹ “Hot mess,” on the other hand, seems to be quite the opposite. It was defined by Oxford Dictionaries (as reported by Time) as “a person or thing that is spectacularly unsuccessful or disordered.”²

I’m going to choose to view their term “spectacularly” as a compliment. But that’s no exaggeration when it comes to the cringe-worthy mishaps and hilarious shenanigans I’ve experienced and brought upon myself, some of which you’re about to learn.

You’re Not Alone

Right now, you might be feeling like you're the only one who doesn't have their stuff together. Your world may seem out of control, but you're not alone in feeling that way.

I was the same way a few years ago, and I too wondered how everyone else seemed to have their life together while I felt like I was drowning just trying to do the basics.

Growing up, I was always the "late friend," the "hot mess friend," the "running out of gas, bald tires, and no money in the bank" friend. And when I moved out of my parents' house, things just got worse. On my own, I began learning the hard way just how not on top of it I really was.

Despite my parents not having a dishwasher, their dishes always got clean. Yet when I moved into an apartment, one that had a dishwasher, my dishes somehow never got done. They sat in the sink way longer than they should have, even growing mold a few times! And I was too grossed out to do anything about it, and too ashamed to ask for help to get them back under control.

Things were the same when it came to doing my laundry. I had a mountain of it that was literally the size of a Volkswagen beetle. How do I know? Because my beetle was parked in my garage right next to my laundry machine and giant pile of dirty clothes! I went weeks, sometimes even a month, between completed loads. Instead of putting things away, everything just lived in my dryer. And I could never find what I wanted to wear as it was all lost, buried somewhere underneath all of the other clothes.

Paying the utilities was a new concept to me as well. My electricity and water were cut off many times simply because I forgot to pay them. One time, I had to carry my dogs’ water bowl over to a neighbor's house and ask them for water because I couldn't fill it up myself. How embarrassing!

Worst of all, a few years ago I hit one of the lowest points in my life. I became depressed, anxious, and my hot messiness seemed to hit an all-new high. I felt completely out of control of my life!

I ended up being let go from my job, something that I thought was going to be my career for the next fifteen years. And I believe it was partly due to me being a hot mess. I think that if I knew the things I know now, things I'm going to teach you, it would have turned out differently.

I know these things may sound alarming to some. But to others, I hope that my open, albeit embarrassing transparency, helps you feel better about yourself and your situation.

Now, I’ll admit, things were not quite this hectic when I lived by myself. In fact, I feel like I was pretty on top of it, at least as far as cleanliness goes, as a single woman. However, things changed as a newlywed. Suddenly, I found myself in situations that I’d never been in before. So if you’re single and living by yourself or with a roommate, are about to get married, or even if you’ve been married for a few years, the program I’ve developed for you in the upcoming pages will help you navigate no matter what situation you’re in.

I've improved so much since that time in my life. I used the opportunity that I was gifted by being let go from my job to pursue my dreams. Now, thanks to God’s goodness, I get to spend my days making women’s lives easier through my blog and boutique, LivingaSweeterLife.com, which is perhaps where you found this book. My laundry gets done and put away. My sink stays empty. My electric bill hasn't been shut off in years, and so much more! Best of all, I remembered to call my mom on her birthday, something that I had missed the last nine years (bless her for putting up with me).

I can proudly say that I'm a refined(ish) woman, but that's not to say that I'm never a hot mess anymore. Heck, I still have many of those days where I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. This brings me to an important point that I'd like to make. The suggestions and ideas throughout this guide are all things I try to do. However, I do not do everything every day, and I don't expect you to either. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t aspire to be better versions of ourselves.

I know that these tips would have saved me a lot of headache and made my life way easier. So allow me to divulge my mistakes to you so that you can learn from them and laugh with me at them. My hope is that by sharing this compilation of tips with you, I'll prevent the same misfortunes that I encountered, and that this guide will truly make your life all the better. So know that I speak from a place of understanding, and again, that you’re not alone in your struggle.

This guide is not just based on my own limited experience and viewpoints though. The tips, tricks, and suggestions that you’ll find throughout the next thirty days are the result of countless hours of researching, interviewing, watching videos, reading books, and listening to podcasts. I called companies to get the inside scoop and tested out apps and systems to see which ones worked and would offer the most value to you. I spoke to strangers, mentors, and fellow hot messes to gather their opinions and secrets so that this would be the ultimate, well-rounded tool for you. I’ll link to the resources I gathered my information from in the Notes section so that if any topics interest you, you can dive into them more on your own.

Before we go on further, I’d like to be clear about the fact that I do not have a degree in any of the subjects that I’ll be covering. The only degrees I have for the topics in this guide are the ones I received from the school of hard knocks. So if you choose to partake in any of the activities, you do so at your own risk. Please use your discretion.

Grab a Friend

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” — African proverb

While you certainly can complete this guide yourself, why not grab a buddy to do it with you? Everything's better with a friend! Plus, as this 30-day program can be pretty tough at times, it may help keep your motivation up to have someone else going through the same process.

So consider inviting one of your girlfriends to get their own guide and join you on your journey, someone who you think could benefit from it, or someone who you know would be a great accountability partner.

How to Complete This Guide

Although the program is thirty days, you do not need to wait until the beginning of a month to start it. You can begin at any time that best suits your needs. However, I recommend that you do not start it when you have any big obligations coming up. This is because it’s going to require you to spend some time working on it daily, which you may not have time for if you're in the middle of an event or trip.

Unfortunately, I can’t just snap my fingers and improve your life for you. You, my little diamond in the rough, are going to have to sacrifice some of your valuable relaxation time and put in some work. Ugh! But isn’t your future self worth it? So set aside time to work on this.

Every day you’ll have a topic to read as well as an Action Plan (your homework) to complete. In the Notes, which I mentioned earlier, you’ll find the links for required reading and viewing material. This is also where you’ll find the downloads and printables that are included. Anything that’s not required will be labeled “Optional.” You can find the Notes section at the back of the book.

Some days, you’ll have a lot to read, and other days the chapters will be much shorter. Sometimes, you’ll have a bunch of homework to do, and other times you might not have any if you already have all the steps completed that are required of you.

To get the most out of your experience, be sure to complete every activity fully, as they're built complimenting and compounding on one another. With that being said though, there is a lot of material to cover. So it’s okay if you don’t get to everything at first. Just make a plan to get back to the things you miss and address them another time. If you find that the work asked of you each day is too much, slow down the pace at which you go through the guide by spreading out each day’s work over the course of several.

I know it'll be tempting with some activities to think, "This doesn't apply to me" or "I don't like doing stuff that way so I'm going to do it how I normally do." But whatever you're currently doing isn't working. Right? That's why you're here. So give the steps of this program a chance to work for you by following along with the prompts the way they've been designed, to be done in full. Plus, it's only thirty days. After that, you can go back to doing things how you like if you want to.

Just like how I suggest you do every activity, it's best if you go through the guide in order, as it was created in a certain way to make things easier for you. If you instead go through the guide in whatever order you choose, some parts may be confusing as you won’t understand the context. You’ll also be behind on the Action Plans. So your homework may be harder, if not impossible, to complete.

Follow Us for More

Be sure to follow us for more content like this. Living a Sweeter Life focuses on helping women with personal development, mental wellness, self-love, and life improvement. If those things sound like your cup of tea, let’s be social media friends! You can find us on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram.³

I sincerely hope this guide blesses you for years to come, and that it will help you hop off the Hot Mess Express and claim control over your life. Don't forget, no one has everything figured out. Sometimes, just trying is enough.

Best of luck on your journey to becoming a refined woman. You got this girlfriend!

From one hot mess gal to another, Grace

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